Women Career and Education

Continued From Detox Your Life - Toxic Family

Warning Sign: Every day feels like a bad Monday morning. You obsess about work during off-hours. You’re targeted for abuse, or interacting with a colleague is the most stressful thing in your life.

Mend It: Personality conflicts with bosses or coworkers are often what make a job toxic. You can’t change the way they act, but “you can change the way the situation makes you feel,” says Alan A. Cavaiola, Ph.D., coauthor. “Many unpleasant workplace behaviors resemble traits of common personality disorders,” he says.

For example, your power-hungry boss or competitive coworker may be a bit of a narcissist. This type has a knack for self-promotion, even if it means co-opting your ideas or, worse, blaming you for her failures. Protect yourself by keeping a paper trail of your work. Though narcissists appear to have strong egos, in reality they’re insecure and thrive on praise. Give it to her, and you’ll get along better.

Another common workplace spoiler is the control freak who wants to micromanage how you do your job. Her actions smother you and leave you feeling as if everything is due tomorrow. Get some breathing room by finding out exactly what’s expected of you on a project and what the deadlines are. When the detail queen checks in to see how you’re doing your work, gently remind her that you’ll deliver the work on time (and make sure you do). Don’t be too proud to take a good suggestion. trough. Annoying as it is, detail queens are often right.

It can be excruciating trying to get info or support from an antisocial type. Curt, condescending and often downright rude, loners tend to avoid human contact. So keep your distance; communicate via e-mail o: memo. This gives you a concrete starting point for further questions.

End It: In some cases you may be better off simply quitting your job if you can afford to. You’re the only one who can decide if your situation is so physically
or emotionally harmful that you should walk away, says Cavaiola. A big warning sign is being denigrated or demeaned by your boss every day.

Most often, though, the best strategy is to keep your options open by updating your resume and putting out a few discreet feelers. Spending an hour reviewing your past achievements-both personal and professional-will give you much-needed confidence. Critique your list, pretending you’re looking to hire someone for your job. How do your skills stack up? If you’re lacking in a specific area, concentrate on improving-take a class or find a mentor. Focusing on the future helps bolster your self-esteem while you’re looking around and gets you out of the pit of negativity.

Continued On Detox Your Life - Toxic Friendship